she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
