You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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