Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
