I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
