Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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