Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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