i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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