At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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