i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
