i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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