I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
