I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
