I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
