I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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