im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
17 year olds will be the death of me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
