It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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