I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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