Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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