There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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