Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
