yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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