the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
