Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
