I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
