Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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