they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
