i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
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I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize