My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
