She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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