its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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