man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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