Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
