I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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