do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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