something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Panties = found
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
