the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
