He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
