Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
