I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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