it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
