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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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