If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
