She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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