Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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