covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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