idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
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She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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