I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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