How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Randomize
