whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
