I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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