He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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