So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
