I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
