i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
