i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
