So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
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she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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