Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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