It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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