why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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