Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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