I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
