Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
