some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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